The SMH buys out the NYT

By Sonia Feng, for the Sydney Morning Herald

1462089_10201871741648270_1240251876_n

There has been a surprising turn of events within the International Press Gallery. The Sydney Morning Herald can finally confirm that Fairfax Media Limited has bought out The New York Times. Many in the unsuspecting international audience and broader viewership of The New York Times can cry a bloody river, because keep your hats on, the situation is riddled with a twofold story. A mildly entertaining saga, at that, within the world of riches.

Many will remember that merely a year ago, Fox News president and blatant justice obstructer despot, Roger Ailes, notably said in response to buying out The New York Times, in pursuit of some sort of heroic crusade to “purge the socialist rag of its un-American content and transform it into a paper for proper Americans”.

Well touché Fox News. Looks like Fairfax heard half of that message to purge it of its un-American content before Gina Rinehart got on another bandwagon of media investment.

Gina ‘eat your mines out’ Rinehart, the world’s richest woman, mining tycoon and budding media mogul has decided that monopoly over other industries can be both transnational and profitable.

In a precedential move towards media domination and public trust, Gina Rinehart has bought the NYT from Fox News. Speaking about her fellow conservative business partner slash broker, Rinehart has gone on the record to announce that she intends to “purge the un-American content [of the NYT] and transform it into a paper for proper Australians”. With a change of pace to its editorial direction, the SMH hopes that The New York Times will now be completely quote unquote “Australian”.

DICTATORS CRACK UNDER PRESS SCRUTINY

By James Lawler, for Fox News

Over the course of this conference, FOX has suffered greatly for his work – take the excruciating back pain resulting from being confined to a chair outside the Security Council, or the psychological trauma of an intense hangover after SydVEGAS. These are brutal blows but, gallant as always, your correspondent will endure.

Yet, greater still, and much more righteous, is the agony inflicted by the press by its scrutiny of the delegates who would rather lurk in the darkness of an anonymous committee chair. Peddling their spin and pursuing their foul agendas, they would much rather the International Press Gallery wasn’t there to shine a harsh, revealing light on them and their designs. But that’s too bad.

journos

In a series of press conferences today, FOX witnessed a number of delegates from the world’s less-transparent regimes crack under IPG scrutiny. We saw 3rd General Assembly’s Chinese representative bellowing at a Sydney Morning Herald reporter in response to her questions exposing the Communist regime’s detainment of 50 Tibetan activists on Death Row. Earlier, China had called for transparency – but, evidently, only when it’s not directed at them.

Your own FOX correspondent was also subjected to smear and slander. In response to our public grilling of Russia’s unwillingness to engage with the Press, the Russian delegate accused us of “low-level discourse”, claiming further that this media organisation is “a state propaganda mouthpiece”. Newsflash, Russia: FOX News is a privately-owned media organisation, with a proud record of scrutinising all governments, including the USA’s democratic regimes. Of course, given that Russia currently ranks an appalling 148th out of 179 on the international Press Freedom Index, such hostility towards independent journalism is unsurprising. We will never forget Anna Politkovskaya.FOX is not here to make you look or feel good. Instead, we’re after the truth – and when you shout and wail and bluster, FOX knows it’s doing its job.

RUSSIA PROPOSED SHOCKING ‘STOP THE GAYS’ AMENDMENT AT UNICEF

By Jay Ng, for The Guardian

putinaround

The Guardian received a leaked report earlier today, revealing Russia’s homophobic amendment. This leak was later confirmed when Russia submitted the amendment during the UNICEF meeting.

The amendment, supported by Syria, suggests ‘expulsion of all prominent, raging and flaming homosexual refugees from refugee camps in Zone 1 and the setting up of sexual orientation re-education camps for those suspected of being homosexual, the refugees are not permitted to return to Zone 2’.

The Guardian press questioned Russia’s earlier claim of ‘a strong believer in human rights’ and how it relates to such homophobic amendment at UNICEF. Russian delegate refuses to ‘explain its stance to anyone, let alone The Guardian’, along with a death stare.

USA addressed its concern with such a problematic amendment and wanted to ‘distance itself from the UK’ for its secretive assistance to Russia. Germany condemned Russia, saying they failed to explain their stance to the committee.

The Jordanian delegate said if passed, this amendment would cause further homophobic and even inter-gay violence in the region. It failed to pass, unsurprisingly. Russia screamed ‘love you brother’ to Syria for its support after voting.

China puts 50 activists on death row

By Katherine Voukidis, for the Hindustan Times

autobots
Chinese government media release of the activists in action

China concealed the prosecution of 50 pro-Tibetan activists, while simultaneously calling for the increased transparency of states in the Third General Assembly.

The Chinese government stated the activists were “terrorists” who are a “threat to public security for spreading lies”. The activists have been offered the right to appeal the decision.

Yesterday, the Third General Assembly heard “China may re-access the issue of transparency in regards to the death penalty” with reference to the trial and reporting of the accused.

China justifies its actions as procedurally fair, and due to it being a “fairly young and developing nation”.

Members of the international community are “displeased with China’s lack of transparency” (delegate for Germany).This event highlights the need of the Third General Assembly to address the humanity of state sentencing processes, as opposed to its current focus on procedural fairness.

UNICEF PASSES DRAFT RESOLUTION FOR SHORT TERM CRISIS RELIEF EFFORTS

By Jay Ng, for The Guardian

stress

The Guardian delivered the shocking proof of what has long been suspected about the efficiency of Syrian crisis relief efforts, which led to an emergency crisis in the afternoon. The Jordanian government has been knowingly assisting Syrian rebel factions in recruiting Syrian child refugees to fight against the Syrian government.

This has been triggered by Jordan’s dissatisfaction towards the ongoing refugee burden. An anonymous source said even 8 years olds are taken away in the middle of the night for Syrian rebel recruitment. There are also similar reports originating from Egypt.

Child rebel soldiers are committing violent acts towards the Syrian government. They are provided with weapons training, demoralisation, and often punishment and torture. Jordanian government has responded saying these allegations are ridiculous.

The Tunisian government sent representatives to UNICEF to confirm that Egypt and Jordan have been engaged in supporting rebels and the recruitment of child soldiers.

UNICEF delegates condemned Egypt and Jordan, and attempted to suspend their voting rights. The motion, which Argentina forcefully supported with other delegates, failed twice in voting. Sweden told The Guardian that this is a motion that violates democracy.

The US proposed and passed a successful draft resolution that aims to focus on short-term actions such as calling for UN investigation and recommends the UNSC employ peacekeepers in refugee camps.

Syria held doubt about the effectiveness of the goals proposed by US and reaffirmed that they are likely to take unilateral action in case of failure. Israel has also raised concerns in regards to the generalization of peacekeeping strategies in the draft resolution.The US is hoping to implement long term goals in the next meeting in regards to education for refugee children. This will avoid similar situations in the future, as it empowers children’s future.

A GOOD DAY FOR JIHAD: FOX REVIEWS SECURITY COUNCIL RESOLUTION ON SOMALIA

By James Lawler, for Fox News

In a non-exclusive, FOX has gained access to the Security Council’s draft resolution addressing the recent Kenyan intervention in Somalia. Proposed by Morocco, key features of the resolution include:

– CONDEMNING the Kenyan intervention, demanding the withdrawal of Kenyan forces from Jubaland and endorsing sanction in the event of non-compliance.

– DEPLOYING a peacekeeping force to administer Jubaland AND a monitoring taskforce to monitor possible human-rights violations.

– REINDORSING the embargo on Somalian charcoal exports in an attempt to financially weaken Somali terror group Al-Shabaab.

In summary, this draft resolution bears all the signs of a classically misguided, bleeding-heart and utterly chaotic piece of liberal foreign policy.

Firstly, it puts blame in the wrong places. The resolution incomprehensibly blasts Kenya’s occupation of the Jubaland region as an “annexation”, despite the Kenya’s previous statements that they’ll withdraw troops as soon as possible. Yet, it utterly fails to condemn the Somali government’s hapless inability to prevent its territory being used as a launch-pad for international terror. This sets a terrible precedent for international norms – the Security Council is fine states being riddled with terrorists, but unable to comprehend the notion of self-defence.

nuke
THE UN’S PLAN FOR JUBALAND.

Secondly, the resolution is unworkable. It demands Kenya withdraw troops from Jubaland within 48 hours, although Kenya has already publically refused to follow such a timetable. As a stopgap measure, it demands the deployment of a humanitarian monitoring force in Jubaland. However, it might want to be noted that Jubaland is currently also a warzone, with Kenyan forces under siege from Somali troops and Al-Shabaab militants (something the Council seems to have forgotten, given that it also fails to even call for a ceasefire in the region). Hence, the resolution is effectively sending UN monitors off to die.

Compounding the likelihood of this resolution actually escalating the Jubaland conflict is the proposed deployment of a UN peacekeeping force in Jubaland. According to the text of the resolution, troops have the authority “to use all necessary measures to restore international peace and security”. For those of you unaware of typical Council resolutions, this mandate is impossibly wide. Given Somalia is still battling to re-seize the region, it will effectively drag the UN into a war with Somalia – the country it is trying to save. Thus, our situation is clear – the Security Council has made a serious geopolitical boo-boo. It fails to effectively recognise the true belligerents of the conflict, deploys nonsensical forces which will likely obliterate rather than rescue Jubaland, and fails to effectively target the terrorists responsible for this whole horrific mess. FOX News condemns this draft resolution, condemns the Obama Administration for supporting it, and condemns all other Council members for being parley to such a travesty of international justice.

Al-Shabaab forces near Mogadishu; no response from Security Council

By Yuvin Manadeniya, for Al Jazeera

The crisis that transpired yesterday on the Kenyan-Somalian border dominated much of the discussion that was led in the Security Council. The debate that arose centred on the removal of Kenyan forces in the area of Somalia known as Jubaland. While this remains a present and immediate threat, it has been noted that this has been done so at the expense of the current situation regarding the move of militant forces towards Somalia’s capital, Mogadishu.

The push into the Jubaland was achieved by relocating Kenyan forces that were involved in the AMISON mission. Kenyan forces were observed abandoning their positions in order to assist in the push into Jubaland. As a direct result of this, previously liberated areas were lost to Al-Shabaab forces and it has been reported that these forces are now moving towards Mogadishu. Somalia now faces two immediate threats; the Kenyan annexation of the Jubaland and the threat of an attack on Mogadishu.

It would be expected then that any discussion on the issue would reflect a holistic approach and encompass both issues, however this was not the case in Security Council meetings yesterday. While discussions attempted to find solutions for the Kenyan annexation of Jubaland, with proposals ranging from economic sanctions and punitive measures, there was little discussion to be found on the issue of Al-Shabaab forces moving to Mogadishu.

kidswithguns

When questioned on this, the Security Council did admit that discussions had led away from the Al-Shabaab crisis, with the delegate for Azerbaijan emphasising today the need to address the immediate threat which Somalia faces from these militant forces. It is hopeful that discussions today will lead to an effective solution which addresses the weakened nature of the AMISON forces, and the Al-Shabaab forces converging on Mogadishu.