It’s been a big three days for FOX News in SydVEGAS. We’ve covered everything from North Korean refugee abuses to international terror-funding financial controls, even though FOX’s financial knowledge is limited to remembering his 4-digit PIN number (and FOX can’t remember both of them).
We’ve seen the Security Council eject Human Rights (literally) and become a geopolitical ashram, the Third General Assembly turn into a Battle of the Longest Speech, and the Sydney Uni New Law building become a mosh-pit for pizza. Somalia’s been colonised, the UN’s been cyberattacked, and Ban Ki-Moon has taken up the Charles Taylor-model of leadership. FOX has tweeted loud, grilled hard and drunk far more than is sobre and sensible.
After Fair and Balanced consideration, FOX can confidently say that crypto-communists out to destroy the greatest land on earth, the good old US of A, and the Christian family values it stands for. But, some of you have revealed yourselves to be true Americans (at least in spirit), and for that FOX is glad.
Thus, as the final night is on us, this correspondent recommends two paths. For the patriots tonight, drink hard. And for the leftists, they say some find God at the bottom of the bottle – so drink hard for Jesus.
God bless, and down with the liberal agenda,FOX NEWS
Delegates at UNICEF have reached consensus and passed a resolution in regards to the Syrian child refugee crisis. The committee acknowledged the urgency of this issue and has proposed practical measures.
This resolution mainly focuses on delivering support in key aspects of children’s lives such as health, education and psychosocial assistance.
Syria and its immediate countries will be divided into Zone 1 (Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, the Lebanese Republic, Arab Republic of Egypt, the Republic of Iraq, the Republic of Turkey) and Zone 2 (Syria) for the efficient targeting of aid. Given Syria’s strong stance on sovereignty, the resolution aims to prioritize child health and welfare within Zone 1.
Vaccines, medical professionals, clean water and food will be the main resources delivered to children. UNICEF delegates also believe in Syrian children’s rights to continue their education despite the ongoing political instability. UNICEF will consult educators from Syria and surrounding regions to create the best possible school curriculum in order to accommodate for all cultural differences.
Delegates from India and Israel proposed an anti-violence against women campaign within the framework of the resolution. Men will be provided with education that discourages the use of violence in the private and public sphere in order to avoid future sexual assaults imposed on women and children.
The resolution also calls for Member States to increase funding support to achieve efficiency and accelerate the development of goals.Delegates would also like to address the need for clarification over the legal status of refugees born in Zone 1 refugee camps. It calls on Member States to reaffirm the maternal origin of citizenship rights of children and their right of return.
There has been a surprising turn of events within the International Press Gallery. The Sydney Morning Herald can finally confirm that Fairfax Media Limited has bought out The New York Times. Many in the unsuspecting international audience and broader viewership of The New York Times can cry a bloody river, because keep your hats on, the situation is riddled with a twofold story. A mildly entertaining saga, at that, within the world of riches.
Many will remember that merely a year ago, Fox News president and blatant justice obstructer despot, Roger Ailes, notably said in response to buying out The New York Times, in pursuit of some sort of heroic crusade to “purge the socialist rag of its un-American content and transform it into a paper for proper Americans”.
Well touché Fox News. Looks like Fairfax heard half of that message to purge it of its un-American content before Gina Rinehart got on another bandwagon of media investment.
Gina ‘eat your mines out’ Rinehart, the world’s richest woman, mining tycoon and budding media mogul has decided that monopoly over other industries can be both transnational and profitable.
In a precedential move towards media domination and public trust, Gina Rinehart has bought the NYT from Fox News. Speaking about her fellow conservative business partner slash broker, Rinehart has gone on the record to announce that she intends to “purge the un-American content [of the NYT] and transform it into a paper for proper Australians”. With a change of pace to its editorial direction, the SMH hopes that The New York Times will now be completely quote unquote “Australian”.
The Guardian received a leaked report earlier today, revealing Russia’s homophobic amendment. This leak was later confirmed when Russia submitted the amendment during the UNICEF meeting.
The amendment, supported by Syria, suggests ‘expulsion of all prominent, raging and flaming homosexual refugees from refugee camps in Zone 1 and the setting up of sexual orientation re-education camps for those suspected of being homosexual, the refugees are not permitted to return to Zone 2’.
The Guardian press questioned Russia’s earlier claim of ‘a strong believer in human rights’ and how it relates to such homophobic amendment at UNICEF. Russian delegate refuses to ‘explain its stance to anyone, let alone The Guardian’, along with a death stare.
USA addressed its concern with such a problematic amendment and wanted to ‘distance itself from the UK’ for its secretive assistance to Russia. Germany condemned Russia, saying they failed to explain their stance to the committee.
The Jordanian delegate said if passed, this amendment would cause further homophobic and even inter-gay violence in the region. It failed to pass, unsurprisingly. Russia screamed ‘love you brother’ to Syria for its support after voting.
The Guardian delivered the shocking proof of what has long been suspected about the efficiency of Syrian crisis relief efforts, which led to an emergency crisis in the afternoon. The Jordanian government has been knowingly assisting Syrian rebel factions in recruiting Syrian child refugees to fight against the Syrian government.
This has been triggered by Jordan’s dissatisfaction towards the ongoing refugee burden. An anonymous source said even 8 years olds are taken away in the middle of the night for Syrian rebel recruitment. There are also similar reports originating from Egypt.
Child rebel soldiers are committing violent acts towards the Syrian government. They are provided with weapons training, demoralisation, and often punishment and torture. Jordanian government has responded saying these allegations are ridiculous.
The Tunisian government sent representatives to UNICEF to confirm that Egypt and Jordan have been engaged in supporting rebels and the recruitment of child soldiers.
UNICEF delegates condemned Egypt and Jordan, and attempted to suspend their voting rights. The motion, which Argentina forcefully supported with other delegates, failed twice in voting. Sweden told The Guardian that this is a motion that violates democracy.
The US proposed and passed a successful draft resolution that aims to focus on short-term actions such as calling for UN investigation and recommends the UNSC employ peacekeepers in refugee camps.
Syria held doubt about the effectiveness of the goals proposed by US and reaffirmed that they are likely to take unilateral action in case of failure. Israel has also raised concerns in regards to the generalization of peacekeeping strategies in the draft resolution.The US is hoping to implement long term goals in the next meeting in regards to education for refugee children. This will avoid similar situations in the future, as it empowers children’s future.
The first draft resolution in UNICEF has been put forward by the USA, released during the morning session of the meeting. It focuses on creating two zones: Zone 1 including Jordan, Lebanon, Egypt, Iraq and Turkey, with Zone 2 containing just Syria.
There would be prioritisation of healthcare and welfare for children in Zone 1. UNICEF would work closely with WHO to provide vaccinations, medical professionals and medicine. The draft resolution further proposes a secondary implementation on education for refugee children in Zone 1, which emphasizes the importance of children’s learning opportunities and encourages displaced educators to teach again.
USA and Syria have been cooperative and positive with respect to each other during the morning session, as The Guardian covered earlier today on Twitter:
However, Syria’s delegate revealed to The Guardian there was still mistrust and instability in the relationship they have with America, adding that Syria is “only supporting the US’ draft resolution because it focuses on issues external to Syria itself”. They will ‘abandon any support for action by USA or UK’ if their sovereignty is being taken away by other actors.
The USA’s delegate responded that there is a “fine line between protecting Syrian children and women and sovereignty”. The USA will determine their own actions when Syrian civilians are at stake. Well, classic America.
The secret of US-Syria relationship will be revealed later today as amendments are proposed.
Committee delegates commenced their 3-day conference today to discuss pressing issues that Syrian children face domestically and their situation as refugee children in intermediate countries. Delegates have pointed out that in order to reach feasible outcomes, specific topics regarding refugee wellbeing should be identified and discussed one at a time to avoid confusions and disorganized debates. Education, healthcare and sanitation received overwhelming focus amongst the majority of delegates during the discussion.
Delegates such as Germany, France and UK are evidently, and unsurprisingly, standing strong as allies with the United States.
The highlight of the meeting is the strong stance held by the Russia Federation. While all groups have all agreed that there is an urgent need to expand actions targeting Syrian children so as to avoid a ‘lost generation.’ The Russian delegate demands a change on how the committee approaches foreign aid delivery. They believe UNICEF is not sufficient enough to deliver funding.
Russia proposed to stop foreign aid distributions to Syria as it has not been working as effectively as the committee projected. Funds are not reaching into the hands of the most vulnerable groups. The committee, therefore, should source individual aid for countries surrounding Syria due to the fact that they are stretching their limits to accommodate the influx of refugees. This suggestion is favored by Jordan, which reminded members at the meeting that other countries should share the responsibility to take care of women and child refugees. Russian delegate also reaffirmed their support to the Assad government.
Syrian delegate positively described the day’s discussion, as he was ‘happy with how states are approaching’, namely the United States was ‘on side on some issues with us’.Discussion will continue today and tomorrow, with live Twitter coverage available via @TheGuardian2013.