Category Archives: 3GA

SO LONG, PINKOS – FOX FAREWELLS SYDMUN 2013

By James Lawler, for Fox News

It’s been a big three days for FOX News in SydVEGAS. We’ve covered everything from North Korean refugee abuses to international terror-funding financial controls, even though FOX’s financial knowledge is limited to remembering his 4-digit PIN number (and FOX can’t remember both of them).

We’ve seen the Security Council eject Human Rights (literally) and become a geopolitical ashram, the Third General Assembly turn into a Battle of the Longest Speech, and the Sydney Uni New Law building become a mosh-pit for pizza. Somalia’s been colonised, the UN’s been cyberattacked, and Ban Ki-Moon has taken up the Charles Taylor-model of leadership. FOX has tweeted loud, grilled hard and drunk far more than is sobre and sensible.

After Fair and Balanced consideration, FOX can confidently say that crypto-communists out to destroy the greatest land on earth, the good old US of A, and the Christian family values it stands for. But, some of you have revealed yourselves to be true Americans (at least in spirit), and for that FOX is glad.

Thus, as the final night is on us, this correspondent recommends two paths. For the patriots tonight, drink hard. And for the leftists, they say some find God at the bottom of the bottle – so drink hard for Jesus.
God bless, and down with the liberal agenda,FOX NEWS

Press Conference of the Third General Assembly

By Sonia Feng, for the Sydney Morning Herald

The Sydney Morning Herald can scathingly report that within the Third General Assembly, denial is not just exclusive to individuals; it can be the go-to-bastion of states within public discourse.

In caucus today, the topic at hand of the Third General Assembly revolved around the abolition of the death penalty.

Problematic is China’s stance of open transparency and accountability, which lies in direct contradiction to its internal administration of justice. China has failed to disclosed as well as stands accused and confirmed of placing fifty pro-Tibetan activists on death row, purely based on the public denouncement of China’s government. China views this in direct breach of public security. There seems to be a discrepancy between China’s official position and reality.

Notably concerning is the official press agency of the People’s Republic of China, Xinhua, and their response to the situation, praising China “well done”. Back to the subject of denial was observed keenly by the Sydney Morning Herald, who witnessed open denial by the state of Iran when questioned about executions of juvenile offenders still being carried out. This is surprising given that it is in contravention of its international human rights obligations as Iran is a signatory of the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

Muslim states refuse to compromise

By Katherine Voukidis for the Hindustan Times

Saudi Arabia and Yemen continue to resist global concerns on the humanity of the death sentence in the Third General Assembly, saying, “we can only go as far as Sharia law lets us”.

“We would most certainly not impose this on other states, unless they are Muslims being led by Muslims,” says Yemen.

This reluctance highlights a key concern of the committee – the ability of international law to reflect international attitudes, while recognising the cultural and religious concerns of member states.

“It is mandated by God – it isn’t a matter for individuals to decide on what the penalty may be,” says Yemen.

Does the international community have the authority to impose global concerns on the humanity of capital punishment on sovereign nations who abide by religious customs and traditions?

As noted by the delegate for Saudi Arabia, “your religion comes first.”

The SMH buys out the NYT

By Sonia Feng, for the Sydney Morning Herald

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There has been a surprising turn of events within the International Press Gallery. The Sydney Morning Herald can finally confirm that Fairfax Media Limited has bought out The New York Times. Many in the unsuspecting international audience and broader viewership of The New York Times can cry a bloody river, because keep your hats on, the situation is riddled with a twofold story. A mildly entertaining saga, at that, within the world of riches.

Many will remember that merely a year ago, Fox News president and blatant justice obstructer despot, Roger Ailes, notably said in response to buying out The New York Times, in pursuit of some sort of heroic crusade to “purge the socialist rag of its un-American content and transform it into a paper for proper Americans”.

Well touché Fox News. Looks like Fairfax heard half of that message to purge it of its un-American content before Gina Rinehart got on another bandwagon of media investment.

Gina ‘eat your mines out’ Rinehart, the world’s richest woman, mining tycoon and budding media mogul has decided that monopoly over other industries can be both transnational and profitable.

In a precedential move towards media domination and public trust, Gina Rinehart has bought the NYT from Fox News. Speaking about her fellow conservative business partner slash broker, Rinehart has gone on the record to announce that she intends to “purge the un-American content [of the NYT] and transform it into a paper for proper Australians”. With a change of pace to its editorial direction, the SMH hopes that The New York Times will now be completely quote unquote “Australian”.

DICTATORS CRACK UNDER PRESS SCRUTINY

By James Lawler, for Fox News

Over the course of this conference, FOX has suffered greatly for his work – take the excruciating back pain resulting from being confined to a chair outside the Security Council, or the psychological trauma of an intense hangover after SydVEGAS. These are brutal blows but, gallant as always, your correspondent will endure.

Yet, greater still, and much more righteous, is the agony inflicted by the press by its scrutiny of the delegates who would rather lurk in the darkness of an anonymous committee chair. Peddling their spin and pursuing their foul agendas, they would much rather the International Press Gallery wasn’t there to shine a harsh, revealing light on them and their designs. But that’s too bad.

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In a series of press conferences today, FOX witnessed a number of delegates from the world’s less-transparent regimes crack under IPG scrutiny. We saw 3rd General Assembly’s Chinese representative bellowing at a Sydney Morning Herald reporter in response to her questions exposing the Communist regime’s detainment of 50 Tibetan activists on Death Row. Earlier, China had called for transparency – but, evidently, only when it’s not directed at them.

Your own FOX correspondent was also subjected to smear and slander. In response to our public grilling of Russia’s unwillingness to engage with the Press, the Russian delegate accused us of “low-level discourse”, claiming further that this media organisation is “a state propaganda mouthpiece”. Newsflash, Russia: FOX News is a privately-owned media organisation, with a proud record of scrutinising all governments, including the USA’s democratic regimes. Of course, given that Russia currently ranks an appalling 148th out of 179 on the international Press Freedom Index, such hostility towards independent journalism is unsurprising. We will never forget Anna Politkovskaya.FOX is not here to make you look or feel good. Instead, we’re after the truth – and when you shout and wail and bluster, FOX knows it’s doing its job.

China puts 50 activists on death row

By Katherine Voukidis, for the Hindustan Times

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Chinese government media release of the activists in action

China concealed the prosecution of 50 pro-Tibetan activists, while simultaneously calling for the increased transparency of states in the Third General Assembly.

The Chinese government stated the activists were “terrorists” who are a “threat to public security for spreading lies”. The activists have been offered the right to appeal the decision.

Yesterday, the Third General Assembly heard “China may re-access the issue of transparency in regards to the death penalty” with reference to the trial and reporting of the accused.

China justifies its actions as procedurally fair, and due to it being a “fairly young and developing nation”.

Members of the international community are “displeased with China’s lack of transparency” (delegate for Germany).This event highlights the need of the Third General Assembly to address the humanity of state sentencing processes, as opposed to its current focus on procedural fairness.

Iran executes foreign citizens

By Katherine Voukidis for the Hindustan Times

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Main building of judicial system of Iran, in Tehran.

Six Cuban, four Argentine and two United States citizens have been publicly executed in the Islamic Republic of Iran, amid reports they are “Moharebs, enemies of God”.

The delegation was invited to Iran on the 26th of November to discuss trade relations, specifically those regarding the supply of food such as grains and wheat, in a time where Iran is experiencing “inflation of around 400%” (delegate for Iran).

President Barack Obama said, “It is completely unacceptable for member states to utilise the death penalty in furtherance of political objectives”.

Iran’s Revolutionary Court found the delegation guilty of “waging war against God”. It is believed by Iran that the delegation was spying on Iranian military operations. These allegations are not yet confirmed.

Concern lies with the inability of international law to effectively prevent such crises from occurring. The potential for this issue to negatively influence diplomatic relations is evident.The Third General Assembly of the United Nations is attempting to develop a resolution that accurately reflects international concerns and attitudes. The Committee looks to balance the rights of sovereign nations to legislate within their jurisdiction, with the morals and values of the international community on the value of human life.