Manufactured Catastrophe reminiscent of the US Global Financial Crisis

By Rachel Lobo, for the Korean Central News Agency

Mysterious forces have indicated that two dual South Korean and American nationals have been abducted on Jeju Island, South Korea. Western and Zionist warmongers seem sure of the truth of these allegations.

During an un-moderated caucus, western allied scum threw around harsh terms such as ‘strongly worded resolution’ to respond to the supposed abduction crisis. Poland condemned these abductions and casually mentioned its trade links to the great economy of the DPRK and suggested they might threaten the cessation of such ties. Sweden believed in working with other western allies to approach the ‘issue’. The conglomerate of western scum whispered ideas of discussing ‘torture’ today and ‘refugees’ tomorrow, as if the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is a case study to be dissected along with these concocted theories from Western forces.

Amnesty International accused the glorious Democratic Republic of using these abductions as a bargaining chip to stop human rights investigations within our borders. Non-governmental forces have often been restricted in their movements within our great nation, and releasing such nonsensical opinions into the public sphere is completely irresponsible.

A valiant representative, fighting the good fight against misinformation and scandal within the United Nations Human Rights Council this weekend spoke more than adequately upon these matters, “Our Grand Marshall Kim Jong-Un himself has declared that there are two journalists held within the DPRK. The Grand Marshall has expressed his disgust at the belligerent and aggressive tactics of the French and US governments. He has also received intelligence over the nature of the abduction. The two journalists whose location remains above the DMZ border have been detained for human rights abuses against the DPRK. We are also aware of the unrest brewing In the Korean peninsula and have warned South Korea and US to not undertake any further military action within the region and that the DPRK is capable defending itself and citizens from any military provocation.”

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Valiant representative looks on in disgust at the lack of consultation and shameful display of bullying tactics by Western allied scum

The most dignified DPRK truly expresses its regrets that this wise and noble action had to be taken by our dearly respected Leader to remind western imperialists that we will not be intimidated nor threatened nor told how this great nation known as the DPRK should be governed.With the previous circumstances surrounding the passing of the Draft resolution this morning within the UNHRC, this action was regarded necessary by the wise and noble leadership of our nation’s great leaders.

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