Rachel Lobo, for the Korean Central News Agency
Victor Luo, the most honourable delegate for the Democratic Republic of Korea, reaffirms the right for a nation as advanced as ours to possess arms for peaceful purposes; mainly research. This extremely enlightened representative from our glorious nation has remained steadfast in their adoration and accurate representation of our glorious leader Kim-Jong Un and his most sensible leadership, despite being forced to share the floor with the traitorous scum known as South Korea.
The United States, clearly taking note of how dishonourable they’ve been in past negotiations, have chosen to remain relatively mousey in this first session. Russia and US have purported the idea of aid incentives to improve transparency within our already crystal state. The DPRK has shown to be shining with ideas on how the international community can look towards investigating their own human rights abuses rather than pointing their finger towards non-existent fabrications ‘that have not been eventuated’.
The DPRK’s prodigious representative reaffirms the abundance of food within our state in response to the childish pedantics of France in their inquiries as to how we plan to feed our people. The misguided delusion that the DPRK would take action to hurt its own citizens held by this entire committee spearheaded by the delirious delegate of France are atrocious and invalid. Such allegations cause the most diplomatic delegate for the DPRK to request they, along with the Republic of Korea (ROK) filth, to apologise and remain cognizant of the true harms put forward in this committee and ‘be pulled into line’.
The Zionist regime of Israel has also made numerous attempts to strongarm their ways into the six-party talks under the guise of wanting to uphold human decency and morality within the global community.
Bethany Schoer, Honourable Chair of the United Nations Human Rights Council, believes the committee is going quite well and interactions between nations are smooth. The KCNA and Schoer would both like to assert that it is however, early days. If the draft resolution that comes out of these forced negotiations is actually any good, Ms Schoer has the email address of the most defamatory ‘Hon’ Michael Kirby AC CMG, and will email this to him. The quality of said resolution, will obviously be subjective to whichever nations have the greatest input, no matter how out of touch or belligerent their approach to engaging in international dialogue may remain.