By James Lawler for Fox News
If the liberty of the people depends on an independent media, then we may as well chain ourselves up right now – because this SydMUN brings the most farcical line-up of “free” press ever recorded.
In the left corner, we have the West’s usual cheer-squad for that totalitarian assault on American freedoms known as “liberalism”. From across the pond, delegates will be treated to the sight of crypto-communist rag The Guardian sympathetically covering the plight of Syrian child refugees in UNICEF, then vomiting their personal details across the internet.
Meanwhile, as the main cheerleader for President Obama and his proud record of crushing religious freedom, The New York Times will be reporting on the ICC’s attempted prosecution of Pope Benedict XVI. No prizes for guessing which way their analysis will tilt. Also anticipate leftist spin from Australia’s Sydney Morning Herald in the Second General Assembly – they endorsed a prime ministerial-candidate with RED hair!
Lurching across the political spectrum, we find the “state media” of the bully-boys of the international playground. From the Security Council, expect expert coverage on Pakistani terrorism deliberations from Al-Jazeera – after all, they have plenty of experience endorsing terrorism everywhere else.
Alternatively, First General Assembly delegates may wish to take note of our Comrades from Chinese-run Xinhua. Rumour has it you can make them disappear by shutting your eyes, clicking your heels thrice and saying “There’s no place like Tiananmen Square!”
But, reader, have no fear! By the command of God-King Rupert Murdoch himself, your intrepid correspondent is here to bring you the truth. As the only Fair And Balanced media outlet present at SydMUN 2013, FOX News will leave no un-American stone unturned through hard-hitting exposés on the liberal-fascist agenda from the Security Council to the International Law Commission.
Stay tuned, world – freedom is coming.
P.S. If you’re returning home via airline and find yourself fined for excess baggage, it’s probably the KCNA press team trying to seek political asylum.